Inspiration for Writing “Simon”
Have you ever written a book? Wowzers! My first journey writing a short novel spanned seven years. That was the length of time between when the idea of the story first gripped my imagination to when the book was officially published. The time it took to actually write the story was probably around four months. That is if you took all the time I spent writing and fit it into a forty hour work week schedule. Time spent thinking about it, probably close to two years.
I am not an author by college degree. According to my diploma I have a Bachelors in History with a double language minor in Portuguese and French. Immediately following college I went straight into digital marketing. More about that in a little bit. I did gain some writing experience with my History degree through the never ending written papers required by my courses. Yet, it was my thesis paper that truly sparked a desire to write. Encouraged by fantastic professors and mentors I went on to complete my thesis which originally was to stand as my platform upon which to dive into a Masters and Doctoral degree. Yeah, that didn’t happen. But my desire to write grew.
In 2014 I set out to write a story of Simon of Cyrene, the man who helped Jesus carry the cross. The journey of writing this story spanned many years. My motivation meandered in and out of excitement and long periods of discouragement. There were times where the procession of the clock did not matter and I wrote late into the night. At other times I did not touch the manuscript for years on end. By the time it came to completion the novel had gone through over twenty-five drafts, many neighbors and family members provided their suggested edits and feedback, and Realizing I was not editor I eventually bit the bullet and paid to have a professional editor give it the fine tuning it needed. Designed a cover (had to learn a bit about Photoshop to do that). Designed the layout of the book (had to learn a thing or two about InDesign to do that) - Special shout out to all the people who created helpful videos on YouTube answering the million of questions I had about using both of those tools! Figured out some self-publishing options. And away it went into the world!
Summing that experience in a short paragraph does not give the rough and long road that Simon took me down. Below is a more in-depth look at the creation of the story of “Simon.”
Shadows before I Walked with Simon
I graduated with my undergraduate degree with a speed bump of student debt. I was determined to pay it off as quickly as possible. Two days after my graduation ceremony I went to work with a digital marketing agency as a website designer - no, that had nothing to do with the degree I had just received. My mind was hounded by my debt. I didn’t have anyone chasing after me to collect money, nevertheless, I felt the weight of what I owed to others and wished to be free of that burden as quickly as possible. Though I was learning digital skills at an incredibly fast pace - HTML, CSS, design composition, brand matching, etc - the shadow of debt limited the level of enjoyment I experienced at work.
I created a plan to liberate me from the taskmaster of debt. Ten percent of every pay check went to tithing, twenty percent went to bills & living expenses, and seventy percent went to paying off my debt. I skipped movie nights, eating out, looked the other way when passing vending machines, only bought the cheapest groceries, and walked whenever possible to avoid driving thus saving on gas expenses. Within eight months I paid my last installment and felt the weight of debt vanish. Yet, its cold greedy hands left their mark. I will do whatever I can to never be in debt again.
I could now turn my full attention to my work and seek to excel at my new web design skills. A year passed. Oh the glory of seeing my saving account rise! The company I worked for was purchased by a national behemoth. In a company wide meeting following the merger, the new owners said they loved what we did and were not going to change our culture. That promise lasted to the end of that meeting. Change began immediately. They already owned a web design company so I had the choice to be without a job or switch to a Pay-Per Click (PPC) or Search Engine Optimization (SEO) role. The jobless idea filled my mind with nightmares of loosing all my savings and spiraling into debt. Thus, I said I would stay with the company.
I was moved to a PPC role and set about learning the ropes of Google Ads. Within a month I had taken all of Google’s Paid Ads courses and passed their certification test. A week later, my boss told me, “We have too many people on PPC so we are going to move you to SEO.” “Okay,” I thought, “I’m sure SEO ties in and at least I’ll have a good understand of PPC. Plus I’ll still have a job!”
Down the road of the Search Engine Specialist I went. Every day I was going through SEO 101 courses on MOZ, SearchEngineLand, Search Engine Journal, and reading Google’s webmaster best practices. The dots of digital marketing begin to be clear and come together. The account manager I worked with started relying on me more and more. Then Google started coming out with these brand new things called core algorithms that really changed SEO and digital marketing strategies. Tactics that had worked a month before no longer produced results. Rankings of client website’s began to drop. Upper management dictated our strategy and we would adjust work accordingly. Just when we thought we had things figured out and client success started to regain traction Google would roll out a new algorithm. Rankings dropped. We scrambled. Strategies changed. It was a constant frustrating cycle. Soon, work I had been told to do a week prior was thrown away and I was told start fresh with a different angle. A week later I was informed to stop doing the new strategy and do something else. Each shift in strategy felt like being pummeled by a crashing wave. Every time I was about to get a breath of air another wave would hit.
Work became dreadful, a lead ball as daunting to my mind as financial debt had been. I could not escape it. I urned for 5:00pm because that is when I was released from my dismal cubical. My morning alarm was a call to misery. Sunday’s were my least favorite day because it proceeded five days of loathsome existence.
Desperation’s Creation
Within this depressing digital marketing scene, I recognized the company was bailing water, but was on a crash course with the bottom of the sea. I applied to every company I thought would be fun and exciting to work for: Patagonia, K2, Solomon, Rossignol, North Face, Quicksilver, REI, NASA, and the list went on and on. Not one job interview. Not a glimmer of hope for a brighter future. It seemed I was doomed to drown with the digital agency.
Somewhere in the depth of this dreary place I began to write. I had gotten an iPad complete with a synced keyboard and spent my lunch hour and evenings writing. The creation of other places, characters, and stories was a much needed respite from the dreariness of my day to day. Short stories flowed from my mind, to my typing hands which were quickly trying to keep up, and onto the screen. Lunch became my favorite time of day. Five o’clock was dreamed for and seven in the evening was when my anxiety from work had calmed enough that I was able to get into my creative world and write. I found it soothing. I found it liberating. I found that I liked the stories that I was creating.
When I First Met Simon of Cyrene
One night, plagued with the woes of work, I felt I needed to think of something greater than myself. Naturally I searched Youtube and ended up coming across a film about the atonement of Jesus Christ. I watched it with 50% attention. Though the scenes played out, my mind was mush and was just along for the ride. At one point the film depicted a scene where a man was pulled from the crowed and compelled to carry the cross that Jesus was unable to carry. For some reason that scene grabbed hold of my imagination and refused to let go. The movie ended and I slipped into slumber questioning what had become of Simon.
When I awoke the next morning my mind immediately went back to Simon. Questions raced through my head: who was this Simon of Cyrene, where on earth is Cyrene, how do you pronounce that name, do the scriptures have anything to say about Simon, did he become a disciple, what happened to him after the crucifixion? I took to the scriptures and quickly found that only three brief verses mention him:
Matthew 27:32 - “And as they came out, they found a man of Cyrene, Simon by name: him they compelled to bear his cross.”
Mark 15:21 - “And they compel one Simon a Cyrenian, who passed by, coming out of the country, the father of Alexander and Rufus, to bear his cross.”
Luke 23:26 - “And as they led him away, they laid hold upon one Simon, a Cyrenian, coming out of the country, and on him they laid the cross, that he might bear it after Jesus.”
The only other scripture that may tie to Simon of Cyrene is Romans 16:13 which reads, “Salute Rufus chosen in the Lord, and his mother, who has been a mother to me.” There is speculation that this Rufus was the son of Simon of Cyrene. Other than these four verses nothing more in scripture is written about the man who carried Jesus’ cross. There is a lot of legend, folklore, reasoning, and connecting dots but truth be told unless a new scroll is found that specifically calls him out those verses are all that we have.
Somewhere, amid my drive to learn more about Simon, I was driven to write a story about him. I had worked to answer my questions, I read and reread the scriptures referencing him, I sought online articles about him to fill the gaps, and was led to a number of non-fiction books written about him - I read their synopses but felt something was missing. I could not leave it alone. Writing a story about Simon became my purpose at lunch, in the evenings, and over weekends.
The High Before the Low
I wrote for two years. I had other things to do. I needed cash to cover the cost of living expenses, bills, and to build a financial fund for protection against future unknowns. I was a college graudate, single, and needing to socialize. Most definitely the ski slopes called when winter came around. Spring, Summer, and Autumn were filled with hikes as often as possible. Between all these efforts I got through five drafts of the story and was feeling good about how it was coming together.
I had gone through major story changes, character shifts, and adjustments to situations and scenes. Thanks to skills learned in my history degree I completed research on the town of Cyrene and other cities where Simon may have visited on his way to Jerusalem. I also studied Roman involvement in the region and historical context. With each passing draft what I enjoyed the most was that I personally liked the story. Each time I reached the end of a draft I thought to myself, “This is a good story, an uplifting story, a story that needs to be told.” It seemed like the perfect time to start looking into publishing options.
Not far into my publication research I learned of a book about Simon of Cyrene that was scheduled to hit book stores in a months time. Ooooh how that deflated me. My mind spiraled into a defeated state. I had been too slow. I had not been dedicated enough and rather had spent precious time on other frivolous activities like hiking, skiing or dating. Now someone else was going to tell the story I had worked so hard to tell. So disheartened was I that I moved all my files from my iPad’s home screen to folders hidden deep in my computer. I placed the printed drafts with all their suggestions, notes, and edits on an obscure bottom shelf. I turned off my iPad and did not touch or think about the story for four years. I was defeated.
The Blessing of COVID-19
Over those years I worked and worked and worked. Having remained with SEO, I developed my skills, expanded my knowledge, and wracked up successful campaigns under my belt year after year. I had managed to get out of the digital agency and I went to work for a nonprofit as their SEO Director. After getting married I needed a higher paying job and landed a job as a Global SEO Manager that set me on a course to develop my digital marketing skills on a global scale.
Truth be told, I am good at SEO, SEM, ORM, and omni-channel marketing, but it is not my passion. In the back of my mind is that dream or writing, the ability to share a piece of my heart through imagination and creativity through words.
March 2020 hit and I ended up working full-time from home. The first most apparent blessing with remote working was that it eliminated my daily commute. This gave me two hours a day that otherwise would have been spent driving in traffic. I could be more productive at home and spend more time to be with my family which now included a baby boy.
By October, a subtle nudge had grown into a constant mental nagging, “You must finish the story of Simon!”
One morning I scoured drawers and shelves seeking my long neglected drafts. Upon finding them I blew of the dust and thumbed through the last round of edits. I charged my then ancient iPad and transferred the documents to my desktop. My first step was to read the story and remember its themes and composition. With my added two hours a day I wrote.
Since last working on the story I had gained more life perspective through international business, expanded my marketing knowledge, and had started my own family. Those new experiences revealed gaps and inconsistencies in the storyline. Though the character arch of Simon had never sat right with me before, I know was able to identify why. After rereading “Simon” I was grateful that I had not perused publishing years before. I had been too eager to publish and was willing to jump ahead without a well defined story.
With no defined publish date scheduled, I set about to correct the story and make it as good as I could. As Christmas approached I thought, I had gotten it right and worked to get ten physical copies printed to give as gifts to family and friends. When they arrived at my home I was so excited to see it in a bound and printed version! I had done it. I had completed writing the story of Simon!
After sending 9 books out I kept one for myself and sat down to read the story. After a few pages I began seeing spelling and grammatical errors. “How on earth,” I thought, “I went through fifteen drafts, how are there still errors?” I also noticed areas that were vague that would benefit from additional details. “That does it” I determined, “I have to do this right, or put it away forever.”
Back to the computer I went. I did more research. I made adjustments, expanded some sections, while slimming others. My mom helped with four subsequent drafts. My neighbor helped with another. I went through five additional drafts. With each one it got closer and closer to completion. Then I hired an editor and had them fine tune the story. A project nine years in the making was coming to fruition. The story would soon be ready.
What is this Technology?
While my manuscript was with the editor I began designing the book cover. Years before I had drawn a depiction of the Atonement and thought that would be a very appropriate design to represent the book. The image depicts a crown of thorns, which sits below drops of water, which are tied to mirky meandering strands of thick and thin lines, these line are then blocked by an overarching band or sun light. These in that same order represent pain, sorrows, sin, death, and the Son’s victory over all of these.
I knew I wanted to use this design, but had no idea how to adjust it to digitally work on a book since the design had been done by hand and was on a 18x24 inch piece of art paper. Thanks to a camera, some helpful lighting, a memory card, and Photoshop (with many YouTube videos along the way) I was able to piece together a front cover, spine, and back cover design that would represent the novel.
In parallel with figuring out how to digitally make a book cover, I learned that the book would have to be submitted to my printer via specific guidelines that were easiest to follow if using Indesign. I had never heard of Indesign and began seeking YouTube videos to help me learn about that one.
When I got my manuscript back I began the slow plug and chug repetitive routine of transitioning each chapter from a Word document to a consistent templated format in Indesign. My learning curve ensured I repeated this process no less than three times before I felt the layout achieved a respectable format. Then I learned that you had to do a separate version if you wanted to offer the book as an ebook. Start process over. No less than three attempts later both printed version and ebook version we ready to be joined with the book cover.
Digital formats were submitted to the printer, a single copy ordered, a package arrived on my doorstep, I eagerly opened it, and felt an overwhelming sense of accomplishment at having brought the book to fruition! I ordered 100 copies and begin sending them out, only to find three errors in the book caused by my own account after getting the manuscript back from the editor. I made those changes in Indesign and uploaded the new files. It was officially ready for sale.
What I’ve Learned
The process of writing a book has been eye opening. It is wonderful and extremely frustrating. I love the aspect of creating the story, characters, scenes, arcs, and themes. I even enjoy the refining, adjusting, expanding, or simplifying. However, the grammatical edits drive me insane. How, oh how, do so many creep into the work? Spellcheck, you have failed me. Brain, you have failed me. Eyes, you have failed me.
At the same time I have proven to myself that I can do it. That I can write a good story. That I can write a story that others connect with. That confidence has encouraged me to go after other novels as well. Over the years additional stories have lurked in my imagination. I shall not stop until I have told my last story.
If along the way I get to meet people who have read my stories all the effort will have been a road worth traveling. And if my stories help at least one person, inspire them, ignite their imagination, or instill within them a grain of faith in the Savior and Redeemer of the world then all the years and frustration of writing will have been worth it.
When Simon comes out I hope you get the chance to read it.
Read more about the Writing of Simon:
A Story of the Heart Rather than Appearance
Common Questions about Simon of Cyrene